Worst Review Ever

I often delight in the ridiculousness of comments on Epicurious. People write about how they changed the recipe and then review the changed recipe. I'm guilty of it myself. Here, is something I would NEVER confess to online:

05/18/02A Cook from Racine, WI
After reading the reviews I just had to make this for a company dinner. I needed enough mushrooms for 8 people which took me nearly 8 hours to find in area woods, never having looked for these before. At dinner everybody just loved the dish. However, its what happened about 30 min. after that was the problem. I'll just say having 8 people trying to use the bathroom at the same time was very embarrassing. I later found out that in this area we spray for insects which makes the wild morels undigestable by humans. Next time I'll use portabello, that is if anyone will eat it again.

The last line should read, "That is if anyone will eat my cooking again." The cook notes she'd use portobellos next time. I think a great substitute for morels would be dried porcini. Both have a meaty earthiness that portobellos just can't shake a stick at. Props for foraging for mushrooms, though. The original recipe is for fettuccine with morels, asparagus and goat cheese. It is something I'd like to serve at a spring, asparagus themed dinner. Here will be the first course, asparagus soup with Parmesan custard.